Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
