do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
