Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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