absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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