we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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