The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
