i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
