Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
