I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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