i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
