So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
