i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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