At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
