he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
