wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
