they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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