you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
