What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
