Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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