Don't you send me to vm
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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