i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You work out of a Hotel?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
