Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
