he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize