You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
