Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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