I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize