That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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