all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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