she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
