Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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