I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
