I can tuck mytits in my pants
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
