I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
