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stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
