Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
