the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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