Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
