i barfeds in our rink
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
