...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Panties = found
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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