well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
