um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize