No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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