whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
