So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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