so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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