I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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