Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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