Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
