My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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