Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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