Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize