i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
