I don't think brook has ever known best
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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