mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
