The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
