His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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