Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
