I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
