I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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