just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
