OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
