Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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