The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
