High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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