allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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