Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
