fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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